ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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