She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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