i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
