remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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