Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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