Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
