Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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