Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
