I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
