How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just pee around me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
