how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We had sex on a dog bed..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
