Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And then he peed in my hair
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