Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My feet surprised me
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