Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she smelled like a LAN party
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
