the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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