but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need a beard to bite.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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