I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
