apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
