You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
