My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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