I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
