with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
