i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
