he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
