I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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