Your face is a jimmy john
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
