I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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