other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize