WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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