For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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