i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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