You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
