Yo dont text me then not text me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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