doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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