I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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