The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
