Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize