I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize