I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
