We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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