its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
