You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
