he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
