i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
