glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
