i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
