I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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