but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
