Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
