would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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