I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
