I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
