Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
