A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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