I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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