how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
