had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
