Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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